To the person who broke into my car:
1. I saw you, you were tall and dressed in black. Little do you know, my office is located directly above the parking lot and I have a clear view of my car.
2. You took my car charger and my ipod FM transmitter, but you failed to take my iPod. I just want to know if you were stopped by my picture of Jesus, staring at you; or, because you failed to check the center console.
3. I'm not worried about those things, or the fact that you shattered my window. I'm more curious as to why you decided to take my backpack, that was filled with boring paralegal text books like "Wills, Estate, and Probate", "Family Law" and "Legal Research and Writing." Is it really because you wanted to screw someone over during finals week? Really? No, seriously. Really?
4. I will give you two days to contact me and return my backpack and it's contents in it to me. Go through my file folder, you have my name, address and phone number. It's in the back pouch--I have my resume back there. Feel free to keep a copy.
5. I work for a defense attorney, and I'm all about justice and giving second chances. Two days, I think I'm being fair.
6. Also, the attending officer dusted my car for finger prints and we were able to track that down.
7. And really, out of all the days you had to break into my car in the last 5 months, you chose the day summer day that was the most windy and rainy. Do you not realize that I had to drive back to OAK HARBOR with torrential rain pouring down at a sideways angle into my broken window that was only covered with two trashbags and 3M duct tape? I don't think you meant to target me, but if you did, I applaud you. That was good.
8. They also installed cameras in the parking lot last week. The chances of you getting caught are extremely against your odds. Let's just be civil about this, I have a final exam on Thursday, and I'd like my bag back by then.
You were sitting right here at one point.
You know my name.
PS: This is what I do to people who piss me off: